There are some things that are only possible through unity. Check out this video.

One person couldn’t have made this as cool as the whole group.

And that’s the way God created his Kingdom. As individuals, we try to do amazing things. We might even succeed sometimes, but none of that compares to the power of a uniform effort of many.

I always wondered about this. Most churches have a vow of unity in their membership pledges. Whether that is right or not is another post. But I wonder what it would be like if people took that pledge seriously. What would happen if someone called others out on their lack of unity? I certainly have had my share of moments where I killed the unity of the kingdom. I hate to think of the damage my cynical nature has caused.

The next time you have a cynical thought, the next time you find yourself being critical, think about how that impacts unity. Then, imagine what could be accomplished if we would all just work together. The church would be a different place is we all got behind one vision for the future of the kingdom.

Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe we just can’t all see that vision or agree on it. And that’s the problem of unity.

I have been reading The Art of War written by Steven Pressfield. It came through two solid references: Donald Miller and Jeff Goins (both very qualified writers/thinkers). Pretending to be a book for creatives, this book has a lot to say to anyone with a pulse.

Having read some of the book, I began searching through time and space to find out more about the author. He has a blog and the first thing I read was an idea about collectively-enforced mediocrity. Pressfield’s book focuses on what he calls resistance.

“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.”

“To yield to Resistance deforms our spirit.”

The rest of the book processes the idea of resistance and how a creative has to fight it. What struck me about the idea of collectively-inforced mediocrity is how others play into our own resistance. I’ll use youth ministry as an example, but this is really applicable to almost any area. Pressfield describes this concept like this:

“Resistance by definition is self-sabotage. But there’s a parallel peril that also must be guarded against: sabotage by others.  Often couples or close friends, even entire families will enter into tacit compacts whereby each individual pledges (unconsciously) to remain mired in the same slough of mediocrity in which he and all his cronies have become so comfortable. The highest treason a crab can commit is to make a leap for the rim of the bucket.”

Yes we self-sabotage. We fear failure, and we fear success. How often though do we fall into the trap of measuring up? When we try to move out of resistance and someone asks why we are changing things, they feed our resistance. Unknowingly, they apply their own resistance to us. This is especially true in youth ministry of Sr. Pastors and parents. How many times do we self-protect in youth ministry when we feel under-appreciated by our pastors? Or worry about a parents reaction to a new aspect of ministry?

The very thing that can free us to do amazing things can be negatively reinforced by other youth pastors as well. Hopefully you have a group of peers that you talk to. In youth ministry, I find it an essential part of my ministry. I need to process ideas and ask for input on what I’m doing. Resistance claims a foothold in this realm as well. Often I meet resistance from other who doubt a new idea. Someone else has tried it, or it just doesn’t work that way.

Others will always be willing to feed our own resistance. Again, Pressfield writes:

“The reason is that they are struggling, consciously or unconsciously, against their own resistance.”

Resistance asks, ”Why would we be able to do something others can’t?” To beat resistance in the form of the collective, we have to be just a careful with others as we are with ourselves.

Amber Case, cyborg anthropologist, makes a strong argument that we have all become cyborgs. With the constancy technological add-ons of cell phones and computers, we have become another form of humanity. Through technology, time and space have compressed allowing us to be present in many places at once. For more, listen here.

Due to computers and especially social networking, we extend our mental self into a new person. Our digital brains and hard drives define our knowledge extending it and externalizing it. So we have access to more information then ever, but know less. In our relationships, this makes us a glutton of extended networks without intimacy or compassion.

We have s second identity. It shows up online and people interact with that other person when we aren’t there. We are always connected, and if we could manifest all of our contacts in the room, it would always be full. So we have more contacts and less friendship. It lessens the impact of friendship. We know about others more but know their self less. We know ourselves less.

People new to technology become adolescents in their online identities. Mastery of these technologies defines maturity rather than emotional health. Just try to have a reasonable conversation between games on Xbox Live. It became a social cancer of its own.

What does this mean for youth ministry? This cyborg life reduces solitude and reflection, limiting the time needed for development of actual identity. Young adults in this generation have an identity deficit. They know how to be online, but lack the ability to be connected face to face. They suck at attachment.

Knowing this, how does youth ministry:

• become a place where they look in the mirror without flinching?
• help young adults develop their created identity and reject the imposed identity they are surrounded with?
• provide solitude to reflect on their life and its direction?
• practice belonging to something transcendent?

Also, check out what Marko has to say about the effect of social networking on Middle Schoolers. Also a great couple of posts by John Alexander over at the garage on Restlessness in Youth Ministry.

Links

• Check out Jeremy Zach‘s case study on Moralistic Therapeutic Deism at REyouthpastor.
• Marko has another installment of the Future of Youth Ministry. This one features Kenda Creasy Dean and is described by Marko as possibly the best two paragraphs written on youth ministry.
• Getting Naked – with Average Youth Ministry via benjaminkerns.

People

• Matt Cleaver – after a brief hiatus, he returns to the blogosphere. Read his Ten Things Youth Ministry Needs Less.

Yesterday a study was released saying that 35 is the new middle age. Apparently people are feeling older and are facing pressures of being older at a younger age. This is remarkable in light of the idea of extended adolescence which says adolescence is now being extended to age 35.

Do we have to now move directly from adolescence into middle age?

This exposes something I have been noticing about American culture. Americans don’t like the “in between” times. I first noticed this with my wife. She constantly changes her hairstyle. Growing it out, she feels bad about the way it looks. It looks fine, but it isn’t the way she wants it now.

This isn’t all that bad unless you think about how that plays out in our faith. Often I meet with people unhappy with their lives. They know where they are going and where they have been. The in between times bother them. They don’t want the steady climb involved in normal progressions in life. They either want to be on the mountain top or the valley.

Just a helpful reminder to us all. We spend most of our time in between. There isn’t a lot of life at the top of the mountain, so we can’t live there. The valley is ok, but that is a place that becomes stagnant. Better than either of those options is being happy in between.

Let’s get this out of the way. I love bacon. It makes me question Solomon’s wisdom saying in Proverbs 24:13. I think he meant, “Eat bacon, my son, for it is good.” He also said that there is nothing new under the sun, but then there’s bacon. Maybe he was just too kosher. As a practicing Gentile, I enjoy my freedom from such proscriptions.

Imagine my disappointment this morning when sampling a new brand of bacon. Really, I’m not a bacon snob. My type A need to put standards on everything has nothing to do with this rant. This bacon just wasn’t up to that standard. The first thing I noticed was that the thickness of the bacon was completely inconsistent. I couldn’t peel two strips apart, because one of the strips was too thin. Meanwhile the attached strip was like a standard think cut strip. Not only could I not get two strips to peel apart, I couldn’t free an entire strip intact. I knew at this point I was going to have a problem trying to cook it evenly. Off to the skillet.

There are many techniques that I have used to get a nice crisp bacon. I confess that I didn’t use my techniques well this morning. I have used an iron skillet and bacon press when I think I am going to have trouble cooking bacon evenly. Since I had bacon bits instead of strips, I just went with a standard non-stick skillet. Crispy bacon is the goal. Misfires end as chewy or hard slabs of salty meat. This bacon went from slimy to hard in little time. It was never crisp. No matter what stage of cooking I put to pork goodness, it would not crisp. So it took a trip to a paper towel for grease cleansing.

The taste test was the final failure. Most bacon has a salty pork flavor that goes great with eggs and toast. This bacon made me question my taste buds. Not very salty, not very porky. If you question my use of “porky” as a word, then you obviously have not heard of the pig who made that word famous, that’s all folks. This bacon denied its very identity in being fairly tasteless.

At this point, I thought, “Just throw it away and never look back.” But I needed to remember the brand to that I didn’t repeat the past error of buying this again. What does that say on the packaging? Uncured?! I didn’t even know that was possible. So I am wondering now if this is a brand problem or uncured problem.

Two things I will not waste my time with again. This brand and uncured bacon. End of rant. Feel free to go on with life.

A couple of days ago I was reading Randy Elrod’s blog. Though I am a new reader, I have found his thoughts to be little sparks for creativity. In his post about how compliments don’t mean much, he throws out an idea that stuck with me.

Empathy as he describes it:

“Empaths are so extremely sensitive that they will often feel what is happening to other people more so than they will feel it if it were happening to them. Because of this they will ignore their own needs. They will often find it hard to process when someone thanks them or gives them a compliment. They don’t understand gratitude because they don’t understand any other way of thinking and they are much more likely to pay someone else a compliment than to take one themselves.”

I immediately starting thinking about youth ministry. I have seen pastors super-impose their own situations on the people the minister to without giving a second thought to its relevance. On the other end of the spectrum, I have seen pastors who can’t share anything personal with their congregants. Both of these are signs of emotional immaturity.

There is a certain need for empathy in youth ministry. It seems obvious that youth workers need to put their needs aside and be sensitive to the needs of their youth. Here’s where I have gotten it wrong:

1. Program Driven – I am a recovering task master. Nothing makes me feel like seeing a great program executed. I can’t tell you how many times I have let a teens needs take second place to the execution of a (my) program.

2. Self-Worth – When I feel insecure about what I am doing, I look for affirmation in all the long places (sounds like a punk rock rip off of the country song). This never works. If I get affirmation, I discount it. If I don’t, I feel like I am not appreciated.

3. Performance – If neither of the previous techniques works, I often turn to how well I do my job. The only measurables that matter at this point are bodies and signs of change. So I take out the magnifying glass and start to pat myself on the back. While I’m doing this, I miss what is going on around me.

The thing about these three ways I go wrong (there are more than three, trust me) is that they all focus on me instead of the needs of my charges. Easily I can go a season without falling into one of these patterns, but I find that a little introspection shows little signs of lack my of empathy.

I got a message Sunday from Frank Viola saying he was following my twitter account. I had heard the name but hadn’t known much about him. To my surprise he has some great ideas that are very similar to my own development of discipleship.

Frank understands the process of discipleship. He has a background in organic church, which seems similar to a house church. There are no paid leaders in the organic church as Frank describes. Instead, they focus on a shared life experience. Read about how he frames organic discipleship here. I really like his thoughts. I’ll try to summarize my highlights.

Organic Disicpleship is:

• Formation happens with others – it is informed by and flows out of close relationships that focus on Christ, instead of rote lessons and practices.
• Established through participation – when everyone is a part of the work of the Kingdom, everyone grows and benefits from individual and corporate growth.
• Indwelling is more important than behavior – As Christ if formed in people and indwells them, they are transformed from the inside out, rather than legalistic, programmatic behavior modification.

These are just some of my observations. I’m sure I’m just scratching the surface here, but I like what I am seeing. It leaves me with one question though. Why does this have to happen in an organic church? Couldn’t Shouldn’t this be happening in all churches?

For more on Organic Churches check here.

Update: Apparently Frank Viola is very popular. Also, I live in a jar.

I don’t know what happened. Completely tapped out, my season of incredible creativity turned. Suddenly, I have nothing left to give. Have you been there, got the t-shirt and later sold it at a yard sale? Many times I have found myself in this place. I usually recognize it when I finally have some free time and don’t know what to do. There is no promise of inspiration in these times. What to do now? Here’s my approach.

1. Be faithful – No matter what I do, I remind myself that I need to continue looking to God and following. Even when I am not inspired (or particularly inspiring), I can still be obedient in my call and work.

2. Do nothing – When I find myself here, it is often because I have been doing too much. I need some time to rest, think, remember, meditate, be indwelled, be enriched in the presence of Jesus. My best practice is to find a quiet spot of nature and let it speak to me. I’m not a spiritualist by any means, but I grew up surrounded by nature. It tells me things deep inside that I need to hear.

3. Confess – I always underestimate the power of confession. Sometimes the best thing I can do is just tell someone that I am feeling empty and alone. Never has this been fruitless.

4. Ask for help – I am a horrid example of this. Sometimes, I just need someone to encourage me, or confront me, or kick my butt. Honest friendship is a resource beyond most practices. It doesn’t wait for me to ask, but it is always beter when I do.

How do you defeat a dry spirit?

Links

• Ordinary – Sic Transit Gloria – Jon Wasson may be one of the best reads this week.
• Change – Marathon Youth Ministry – Great post about the need to change.
• Improving Cultural Discernment – ym360

Books

• The War of Art – Steven Pressfield – a great book for blocked creatives or a blocked life.
• The Gift of Being Yourself - David G. Benner – My go to book for those wanting to live the best life they can.

People

• Andy Blanks – Andy is a new friend and fellow disciple-head. He has written some great stuff and is the co-founder of YM360.