I caught this post from Seth Godin about the Ted imperatives. Check them out:

The TED imperatives

You want to make the big decisions, the day finally arrives, and then you worry over each of them. What gives?

According to the Heath brothers (and many others), decisions wear us out. They take a lot of energy and can fatigue us as much as heavy exercise. Supposedly two grandmasters of chess can burn 6000 calories in three hours making the decisions needed in a game.

You struggle with the decisions when:

1. There isn’t a clear “right” answer.
2. There are many possible right answers.
3. The outcomes of you decision make big differences.

The issue usually at stake is fear. Most of us are afraid to fail.

In youth ministry, this problem is compounded by the looming threat of approval. If a leader’s (Sr. Pastor) understanding and agreement is the measure of success for another leader (Youth Pastor), then huge pressure rests on each decision.

Acknowledging Freedom
So much of what you do working with students is beyond your control, though. Only God can draw people to himself, change hearts, bring salvation into the lives of teens. Of course, you can do things that look like that. You can build an attractional ministry using behavior modification, but the real outcomes are beyond you.

Decisions based on freedom benefits you. When you release yourself from measuring up to other’s expectations, the result is obvious. Suddenly you can change your focus from seeking approval to doing the right thing at the right time.

For example, you know what to do when a young adult needs advice, but that decision may be clouded when weighed against parents or a pastor’s expectations. Maybe the clear answer for a student is to stop worrying so much about their grades. Or maybe it’s to try doing something that’s not socially acceptable.

When you have to consider the many possible outcomes of that scenario, it’s paralyzing. But if God has the results covered, then all you have to do is follow through with that leading. God will insure the next steps.

Why do we prefer an original work of art over a copy, even when we can’t tell the difference? Out of context, objects and experiences can shift in value easily. Wine tastes better when it costs more. A concert takes our breath away if the performers are renowned. Experience tells us that we assign meaning through context.

In ministry, meaning comes through a variety of attributes. It might be a charismatic leader, a great discipleship experience, the call to a better life or any number of variables.

The church will remain only if its meaning is clear and deliberate. All of the best lights, sound and marketing can’t replace or supplant the meaning of the gospel and still remain the church. Yet, as churches drift from essentials of orthopraxy. They look more and more like concert halls, museums, hospitals and schools instead of believers gathered under the umbrella of grace.

Essentialism is based on the irreducible minimum that defines an object or experience. If you design these places of meeting, your limited list of attributes are what will not only guide you practices but attract others who share them. This is the way we assign meaning.

As I plan the next year, I am concentrating on that list:

1. Each student is a Masterpiece – Ephesians 2:10 names us as God’s workmanship or masterpiece. That means everyone should be treated with dignity and respect. But it also means the original is worth more than the copy. Discovering each individual’s created identity needs to be an ever present theme.

2. Each student has Special Needs – This refers to more than ADD and clinical diagnosis. All teens are unique and need specific challenges and encouragement. Revealing each persons abilities and needs has to be a priority in helping the succeed.

3. Each student needs a Plan – Because we are creations of action, we need to look towards what we do, not just who we are. Teens need to develop their own tools and methods for living out their faith. They need opportunities to practice them as often as possible.

What are your essentials? What meaning do young adults get from the experience you create?

I’m doing some research on accommodating some of my students and could use some help. One of the surprising things I learned in the YMCP was that I process information better with a group. So if you’re willing to think along with me, this could benefit all of us. Also, I’ll be giving away a book to the person with the most useful ideas.

If you’re like me, you probably had no idea what this word means, much less what it has to do with youth ministry. Synesthesia is one sensory  pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway. Examples are: A violinist sees a scarlet form when he plays a certain note; a rock star sees waves of blue and green as he composes a ballad; an actress tastes cake when she utters the word “table.” Watch the video below for more (it’s where I found out about the condition and the word). Skip ahead if you just want the meat.

Basically, synesthetics involuntarily relate one experience with another. The gist is that they see a number, but also link that to a shape and/or a color. Though most people don’t have as specific a link between two or three objects, we all have links tied to experiences and objects.

In youth ministry, this happens through association and is usually not deliberate. For example, when I introduce myself as a pastor, people put on their best behavior because they link “pastor” with “unable to witness socially inappropriate behavior.” I once met with a youth who confess that they decided not to open conversation to me if I was wearing khakis and a golf shirt.

So I’m wondering how youth ministry can use synesthesia to our benefit. In story telling we can definitely link hypothetical situations to actual experiences, but what I’m looking for is something concrete and memorable that links a basic truth from the Bible into another experience, detail or sense.

If you win, I’ll give you a choice fo five books.

Earlier this week, I wrote about my experience in the Youth Ministry Coaching Program (YMCP). The Youth Cartel wrote about real youth workers over those faking it. In the comment section, Adam explained the term veracity. Veracity is habitual truthfulness. It struck me that truthfulness is never on any of the qualities in the job descriptions I see for youth pastors.

As Adam said, most teens struggle with one basic fact in getting to know youth pastors. That would be, “Is this guy for real?” If the life we espouse in our teaching doesn’t reflect the life we live, then what credibility do we have as leaders to youth and families?

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I used to work for a group of people dedicated to one truth. Live a life worth copying. In this one phrase, they defined veracity in every detail of life. As youth leaders, we have one shot at calling adolescents into a new life. That opportunity stems from our commitment to living what we believe.

We need veracity. Without it, we fall into the many voices of marketers and salesmen. Authenticity is the prime requirement for changing lives in youth ministry.

You might think this post is about using social media to make disciples, but you’d be wrong. I have been writing about discipleship and what that means for the church for a while now. It seems that I will always be clarifying the means of discipleship. To understand where I am going with this post, you need to understand the difference between digital and analog.

In this picture, you can see the difference between an analog signal and a digital signal. The analog signal is smooth and captures all of the nuance of the original signal. The digital signal takes samples at certain points of the signal and replicates them to give only the high points and low points. What’s missing is the nuance. Ask any audiofile and they will tell you, every detail is important.

I’ve written about the need to be specific while acknowledging the unique in discipleship. Combining the two involves the nuance of this kind of relationship. Put simply, the details matter. If a leader has a checklist approach to relationships – “Hey, , how’s the family!” – it leaves out the specific and unique in those people. That’s like going on a date, list in hand, and checking it off in front of your date. Let’s see, greeted warmly, check; complimented wardrobe, check; listening intently to promote a sense of care, oops, better work on that.

Discipleship that is analog moves into the space in between. It picks up on the little things that seem insignificant but are wholly pivotal in relationships. By the way, the in between spaces are where most of us live. It’s not just how the family seems, it’s the worry over a child for a neurological diagnosis that could stay with them for life. It’s the celebration of first steps, lost teeth, significant acknowledgment and the loss of a friendship because it was all our fault. Ask any person about themselves and they will tell you, every detail is important.

Yesterday I wrote about the drifting definition of discipleship. In an effort to reclaim discipleship, I am writing a book and posting some of the thoughts on this blog. Part two of discipleship centers on the unique.

Like yesterday’s post about the need for specifics, today I process the need to see our differences. So often Bible studies and other educationally based meeting in the church try to be comprehensive. The give answer that would fit anyone’s faith. That misses the point of discipleship, though.

Instead, discipleship is concerned with the individual. It points to how each person is a new creation in Christ and what that means for their life. Everyone has special gifts and abilities. We all have desires that drive us in our lives. Leading someone like this focuses on those passions and directs them into practicing them through faith.

Discipleship often is the acknowledgement of someone’s unique abilities. Our work is to awaken possibilities in others. If we don’t do that, then what’s the point? As youth workers, who are we being if people aren’t impacted by our presence? This kind of discipleship calls to the personality of our disciples and challenges them to live as changed people.

I have talked to several people lately about discipleship. So many people have so many different definitions or ways to do this. Last week I wrote a similar post about What is Youth Ministry (For more on that topic, be sure to check out Andy Disher’s site The Inner Musings and Phil Bell‘s Youthwork Talk).

So today, I decided to write about discipleship. I open the book I am writing with a quote from Seth Godin who says, “Art is a generous action. It’s when a human connects to another human and makes a change.” That really describes discipleship. When discipleship is reduced to just education, small groups, book clubs or Bible studies, it doesn’t account for several important aspects. For discipleship to function like Jesus did it, it needs:

1. To be specific – I’ve written about this many times. Vague answers to life’s questions usually mean nothing. To make a change, we have to get specific. I does little good to tell people to go out and glorify God without giving them something specific. Specific is more memorable.

I just watched this great interview with Seth Godin by Michael Hyatt. Seth gets the direction of the future. Things have changed that will not return to normal. The church represents many of these changes. Sr. Pastors have had their day. Attractional ministry is waining. Adolescence is being redefined. So what does all of this mean?

It means that the old ways of working with people, especially in the church, will continue to change.

It used to be that the structure of a church was obvious. The Sr. Pastor was the autocrat who led the church in the direction he saw fit to lead it in. He managed the congregants and staff from a perspective of authority that was unchallenged. His vision for the church was second only to God and the Bible.

Nowadays this seems ludicrous. How can one man have the answer for so many people. The team model of leadership has overcome the managers model. To lead a team, you have to invest in them, challenge them and inspire them. Managing just gives instructions. Leading goes beyond assigning tasks to acknowledge a team’s unique gifting and utilizing it. It treats people as experts instead of human resources.

The youth workers I regularly talk to bemoan having to work with some of their older styled leaders in their churches. I hear story after story of underutilized people and wasted time. What’s strange about this is when I see those same youth pastors practicing the older leadership models. It’s baffling! They really don’t see themselves doing what they are complaining about.

So which model do you use? How do you know that is the actual model instead of the idealistic perspective you have?

I have written this week about discipling an ADD and Codependent teen. What these two articles really point to is the need for a team approach to ministry. No single person will be able  to connect with and give the needed time to all of the students in a ministry. I’m not saying this only about bigger situations in youth programs either. This need is consistent through small, medium and large programs.

Here’s why a team works better than solo ministry:

1. Divide and Conquer – Teams are more suited to giving individual attention. In any group, there will likely be a range of affinities from gamers, musicians, athletes, fashionistas and thoughtful bad dressers (nerds). A team can divide up to meet each of these cultures where they are.

2. Relief - Most groups have at least one person who is very draining for the whole gathering. A team can hand off that person so that no one leaves wanting to stick a rusty fork in their eyes. This can also be a great way of providing boundaries for the rest of the group as well.

3. Good Cop, Bad Cop – I never intentionally go after this situation, but sometimes it just happens. Teams who work together can provide a range of methods of discipline or encouragement that would be impossible for one person.

Here are two examples that benefitted my ministry in the last week. First, we have a new person in our group who is socially immature and very needy. He often doesn’t get normal cues that other teens get. Enter the Wii console and Super Smash Bros. and his need to control all the options. Everyone was done with his dominating the rules. So I step in and ask him to let someone else pick. This ensues a tantrum and a short break for him. Another leader jumps in while I redirect the gaming (trying to keep applause to a minimum and save the problem kid from shame). This leader explains that I am trying to protect everyone involved and breaks down the situation for them. It works! Score one for team youth ministry.

Another situation is based on a teen who has an enormous father wound. In this case, she has picked me as the surrogate father. While I can serve in that role, I can’t be the father. What she often needs is a hug and an affirmation. I don’t naturally run that way, but another one of my leaders always picks up the slack. So whenever I am the fatherly advice giver, this other leader is the affectionate, physically present leader. Score two for Team Youth Ministry.

There are too many benefits to the team approach and too many stories to demonstrate them all. You probably know the benefit of them. Most people’s problem is in how to build a team. This is why I’m so excited about presenting at the NYWC in September. I get to talk to other youth leaders about building teams and together find some solutions that will help.