Selfie Sticks and the New Era of YM

I confess. I had to look it up the first time I saw the word selfie stick. I wondered if it was something you hit people with who post too many selfies. It’s not. Selfie sticks now rank the top of many teenagers want lists. It heralds a new era of youth ministry. Are we ready?

As I transitioned into my new role  in a new church, one of the questions that continued to be asked was my policy on cell phones. Cell phones aren’t anything particularly new in youth ministry, but their usage is. Instead of calling their friends, smartphones enable behavior that is completely new to this generation. Some of it is good, some harmless and some others, not so much.

There seem to be several prevalent responses so far to this new paradigm.

Response #1: Smartphones are the Devil

This response lumps anything that could be potentially harmful into the camp of being in League with Lucifer.

Response #2: You silly teenagers and your phones

Some people, especially older adults, wave the whole thing off with a wink and a grin. They seem to say nothing new here, teenagers have always tried risky behavior.

Response #3: Just use protection

Many parents are aware, at least on some level, that smartphones can pose serious problems for their children. They allow a lot of freedom, but ask their offspring to be wise.

Response #4: What did you say? My head is in the sand

Yes, we all know those people who turn a blind eye to anything potentially unpleasant. Ignorance isn’t always bliss, despite this type of reaction.

Whatever your response, youth ministries are now having to communicate some kind of more formal policy about smartphones and their usage. Can they be used in church? Is it too distracting for other teenagers? or adults? The questions are endless as we chase the many apps and their functions in teen society.

As for me, I got over my initial reaction to selfie sticks. It seems that most of them are used to either capture more of the surroundings in the picture or to include more people. I heard Marko call that an “ussie” and hoped it would become a new buzzword. Maybe it will one day. Until then, we are left trying to help our teenagers navigate the new era of selfies.


Best Devotions

I recently saw a post on the Facebook asking for advice. It was from a youth worker wanting to know the, “Best daily devotion book for students?” I think I understand what was being asked, but this is always a shake my head moment.

Devotion isn’t something to take lightly. It has as its core “love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause.” I can’t imagine a single word written (and I love books) that can manufacture devotion. It’s either there or it’s not. Now, a book might spark something hidden within us. It might draw out a part of our heart we hadn’t realized was there. Maybe, just maybe, it could clarify something unspoken within our thoughts. But I just don’t see it creating love or enthusiasm.

But that’s not really the problem. This generation might be the most paper averse ever. They read, but it’s almost always 140 words or less, or a snap, or a picture. Social media fields are white with harvest. Trying to create devotion that’s not there is one thing, but using a medium that someone is resistant to already completely disregards any hope for effectiveness.

Best devotion for students? Helping them see Jesus in their lives already. Best medium right now? Definitely not a book.

By the way, I have been using an Instagram prompt for the youth ministry I serve. Check it out here: therealmumcy


The Importance of Tension

This past Sunday, I taught from the well known passage in 2 Corinthians 6:14 commonly referred to as the unequally yoked passageThere is some struggle within that teaching. It’s not explicitly about marriage, although it can be applied to that. What it explicitly teaches is in many ways contradictory to the gospel.

Paul urges the church in Corinth to not link themselves with unbelievers – we should be set apart. Yet so much of the gospel calls for just that – we should be salt and light. Our students and leaders immediately picked up on the tension between these two teachings. What should they do. One leader pulled me aside as we were heading to our small group discussion and asked, “So, what’s the answer?” She knew that her group would want the definitive, comprehensive answer to end the mystery between these two, seemingly contradictory lessons.

Here’s the problem: I don’t think we should be in the business of giving definitive, comprehensive answers. Sure, if someone asks me if I believe Jesus is the way to salvation, I will say yes (but I will probably ask a bunch a of questions as well). However, there is just too much value in the tension of our understanding. Giving easy answers to difficult questions is not only short-sighted in youth ministry, it undermines their changing perspective from a concrete to an abstract worldview. We should be teaching them how to work through these tensions for themselves, helping them make peace with the mystery of the gospel (Eph. 5:32).

But here is the rest of the story. If we knew everything, if there were no mystery in our lives, we wouldn’t need God. Having confidence in our own understanding makes us less reliant on Christ for direction in our lives. It actually undermines a relationship with Jesus.

I want to be as clear as I can with our students and leaders. Jesus is the way and the truth and the life. That’s what I am convinced of. Everything else, all other understanding, I want to hold loosely, to live in the tension of uncertainty, so that I can be open to God’s direction as the day passes.



Instagram Devotional

Here is an article I wrote a little while ago for my friends at Rooted Ministry. They liked it so much that they are launching their own Instagram Devotional. 

I recently interviewed for a new ministry position at an established church with a youth minister tenure of over 27 years. This was a flagship ministry serving hundreds of teenagers and their families. Despite health in so many areas, Bible studies, especially independent Bible reading, were apparently lagging. This basic reality represents many churches throughout America. It really shouldn’t surprise anyone in youth ministry. What we see in youth ministries reflects overall teen literacy. The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development reported in 2011 America as the only nation surveyed with a generation less well educated than the previous generation. But if you have served in a ministry to adolescents, you don’t need convincing.

You might be scratching your head, though, at the reverse trend in young adults. Social media continues to explode in popularity among teenagers. Maybe teen literacy is down, but that age group has no problem reading tweets of 140 characters or less. In 2011, teens sent and received an average of over 3800 texts a month. That’s about 120 a day. Likely with more apps, the number has grown. Youth seem able and willing to read. Is there a reason they aren’t reading the Bible? I think so.

It would be easy to point to reasons for Bible illiteracy among teens. I only want to focus on one reason. Years ago, when youth ministry first began, it was a missional movement. It thought of the mission of the church and responded the way a missionary would respond. It saw churches missing teenagers and asked, “Where did they go?” The answer was the mission. Wherever young people went, that’s where youth ministry thrived.

As youth ministry evolved, it manifested what Frost and Hirsch wrote about in The Shaping of Things to Come. The bounded set and the centered set articulate a drift in the mission of youth ministries. The bounded set is like a fence, keeping the right things in and the right things out. The authors liken this to cattle ranches that build fences. The centered set is more like free roaming grazing. What keeps the animals centered are the necessary materials for life like food and water. Youth ministries struggle for balance in these principles. They want to go where the teens are and reach them, but they want them bounded to the church, separate from troubling outside sources. Out of balance, youth ministries become closed sources.

Examples populate themselves throughout teen culture. The most obvious is Bible studies. For most youth ministries, Bible study is a bounded set. It is walled off from teen culture. While absolutely relevant to the lives of teenagers, it is delivered our way, not theirs. Rewind to my interview. The search team in my interview asked what I could do to help their Bible literacy problem. After asking what they currently did – printed out a week’s worth of devotionals, handed them out at each youth meeting – I started asking questions. How many teens read the sheets? What if a youth missed the meeting? What are teens already reading?

The solution became clear through that series of questions. Most teens read on their smartphone. It’s likely the first thing they see in the morning and often the last thing they check before sleeping. At this local youth ministry, teenagers gather around Instagram. It was their centered set. The youth ministry created a profile and began posting devotionals through Instagram. All devotionals were sent daily, early in the morning, right about the time teenagers would be getting ready for school. The content centered on a short phrase that was evocative and memorable emblazoned on an image that was equally compelling. The image was supported by a short lesson and scripture reading. Finally, the image and text were replicated on different social media platforms (Facebook was the preferred hangout of parents). It was a missionary solution.


The results were extremely predictable. After four weeks, the youth group averaging in attendance of 219 students soon had 231 followers on their Instagram account. Each post received an average of 30-45 likes. Youth leaders began hearing stories, not just of teenagers reading the posts, but sharing them. One story even described a mother and daughter who read the posts independently and talked about it on the way to school. The image and text

If you would like to try this, you can see examples or freely ‘steal’ posts from the Instagram feed: therealmumcy. Images and text were created using Canva (, a free, super-easy to use graphics program. The best time for posting tended to be between 6:30 and 6:45.

Discipleship and Competition


“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
—John Steinbeck, East of Eden

Not long ago, when I lived in Birmingham, AL, I had a memorable conversation. It was about my daughter’s elementary school, creatively called West. The conversation was with a former student who was now an adult, fondly recalling her time as a student. She reminisced, “West is best, East is least.” I loved our time at West, but I still wonder at the sentiment in that statement.

Competitive sports thrive on similar statements. It’s so universal I have to wonder. What is it that makes us need to be the best. And not just the best, but the best at everything. Are our egos so fragile that we can’t let someone else be better? Maybe.

The Steinbeck quote shines new light on our need to be the best. Discipleship further speaks into the myth of perfection. Of course we’re not perfect. We can, however, be perfectly us. Discipleship helps us reveal that in people. It gets down into those parts of us that might be hidden simply because we aren’t the best.

In youth ministry, we often see teenagers who struggle with this perspective. They are moving from that concrete, self-centered world into a more abstract one that involves complex social structures. Some of our best work comes in helping them see the truth. They aren’t the best at everything, and they don’t have to be. Discipleship helps them frame that desire to be best into the freedom of grace that says you are unique and special. You are created in Christ.

This might be the biggest struggle of this generation. Perfection as a goal is slavery. Grace as a way of life is freedom.

The Role of Proclamation in Discipleship


One of the most important parts of discipleship often goes unmentioned in the church. I blame this on the declining cycle of real discipleship. Leaders fear making statements specifically about people they lead. They should certainly be cautious, but leaving it out causes more problems. Let me explain.

Start with the assumption (though not a big one) that Jesus knew how to disciple people. Part of his process involved noticing specific characteristics about people and publicly proclaiming them. The most obvious example of this is when Jesus renames Simon in Matthew 16. Jesus calls out something special in Simon – his ability to boldly speak truth – and then changes his name to reflect that part of his identity. Peter wasn’t the only one Jesus nicknamed.

Of course, Jesus was the Son of God, he knew things that we don’t. But we still have a responsibility to this aspect of discipleship. Granted, when I do this, it usually sounds more like this, “Hey, I see this about you. Do you see it? Do you think that God made you to have this?” Either way, the power of these kinds of statements is immeasurable.

This past week, I was reminded of just how powerful proclamation is. I met with my YMCP Cohort. Three or so years ago, this group of people got together to help each other become better in almost every way we could. In one of our meetings, I was talking to my friend Jeff Goins. At the time he was serving in a ministry mostly helping them with marketing. I could hear his heart through the words he used. I think I might have even interrupted him mid-sentence. All I said was, “Jeff, you are a writer. All you have to do is write.” Read more about that here.

Those words did something in Jeff. Nowadays Jeff is well-known, publishing his fourth book built off his very established platform of helping others find their writing voice. Let me clear, I didn’t make Jeff the awesome guy he is. God did that. I didn’t make Jeff successful. He did that, through a lot of great work I might add. All I did was call out what I saw in Jeff. I wasn’t the only one. There were others who were doing the same thing. So I’m not trying to take credit here. All I’m saying is that these proclamations do change people. They are an essential part of discipleship.

If you lead a small group, or meet with people regularly, or even just hang out, they need to and want to hear someone tell them what they see in them. Take that chance sometime to prayerfully look at them. See what God is crafting in them. Then tell them. It’s that easy.

Edgecrafting Youth Ministry


Edgecraft identifies the soft innovations that live on the edges of what already exists. Apple did this a long time ago with the iPod and later the iPhone. In the late 90’s, Apple posted some of it’s worst earnings. The iPod changed that for them by going to the edge of their user’s experience of the computer. Tying the iPod, an edge product, back to the computer through iTunes made a synergistic effect for Apple.

Youth ministry lives in a place of more and less defined edges. As many older models for youth ministry lag behind in effectiveness, churches are looking for what’s next. I don’t think it will be one thing. There are just too many variances in regional culture and context. Social media is near the edge, but one area’s teens may be really into Twitter while another area might solely use Instagram.

The leverage for edgecraft comes from how solidly an edge can be linked back to the main value of a ministry. For example, you might move your traditional printed devotions to Instagram (check out this article I wrote on that experience). This leverages something most teens use all the time, smartphones, back to the local youth ministry. The point being, go to the edge and make a path back for students to connect to the local ministry.

My team will be spending the down time through the holidays to edgecraft our local ministry. I would invite you to do the same. Share a crazy idea you have with your team and see where it leads. Youth ministry is presently wide open for edgecraft.

Discipleship – The Voice Style

I’ve recently become a fan of NBC’s show The Voice. It redeems other shows like American Idol, which I loathed. What works for The Voice works for discipleship. Instead of tearing down every fault of each singer, they find strengths and polish them. In essence, they want the artists to become the best version of themselves. This past week, something amazing happened though. One performance crushed everything.

Josh Kaufman became something magical. He owned that song. It just seemed so natural and easy. That is of course a complete myth. Kaufman has practiced singing for so long it now seems natural. That’s what discipleship does.

Honestly, I often listen and hear performances that I think are only pretty good. That’s really fine. The discipleship process works like that too. Growth happens in those safe places where you don’t have to be amazing. Then one moment clicks and inspiration bursts forth.

In discipleship, these moments are so varied. There couldn’t be a show for them. Healthy youth ministry breathes these moments regularly, though. Most of the work really happens in recognizing these moments and celebrating them. Encouraging teenagers in each of these moments so that they are turned into fulfilling places. This is just one more example of how discipleship happens all the time, often outside of the institutional church.

Dangerous Youth Ministry

I recently watched Gever Tulley’s TED talk 5 Dangerous Things. His presentation points to the problem of over protecting children, and makes a case for allowing danger in their lives for the sake of discovery. It’s a short watch if you want to see it for yourself.

This video got me thinking about youth ministry. Do we protect teenagers too much? Her e are my five dangerous things:

1. Ask questions – Do we let them ask questions? Is it wrapped in the context of us always knowing the answers? It is hugely beneficial to let questions linger. The time spent finding answers almost always has more benefit than the answers themselves. Additionally, this prepares students for life when they have moved on from youth ministry.

2. Ask questions – Do we ask them hard questions? I’m not talking about hard questions like Do you believe in God? I’m talking about really hard questions like What is it about you that you love?

3. Live with tension – Inevitably, if we let questions linger, we have to acknowledge that mystery exists in our faith. There are just too many things we can’t understand about life, and especially God.

4. Work out their faith – So often in youth ministry we feel like we should fix students. This really is a lack of faith. We can’t even fix ourselves. Why would we think we could fix anyone else. It’s the Spirit’s work to bring people to repentance and sanctification.

5. Live with radical grace – If youth ministries aren’t willing to practice radical grace, going beyond forgiveness and into blessing those who hurt us, we really aren’t fully practicing our faith.

The Power of “I’m Sorry.”


So many leaders blow it with their teens by one simple phrase. When confronted with a crying teen, they say, “I know what your going through.” It might be that we do know, but saying so often creates a sense of mistrust. How can we know exactly what they are going through?! In almost every situation, most people just want you to try to understand. A simple, “I’m sorry.” opens more room to connect with their pain and move them into a place of reason.

I recently wrote about emotional health in youth ministry. It describes the ideas of  The Whole Brain Child, a book I recently finished. This book, though written for a parent trying to help their child into emotional health, has a lot to teach youth ministries.

One of the best techniques it teaches is the idea of connect and redirect. Sometimes a child is so emotional distraught that they can’t think rationally. In those moments, connecting with their feelings helps them manage without losing control. After they have been connected with, you can then bring them into reasoning out their response. It’s really simple and most people do it without even realizing it.

In youth ministry, we are often confronted with teenagers who bring their struggles into our meetings. They can seem belligerent and off-putting. Most of my experiences, though, have shown that connecting with a teenager emotionally creates the safety to engage their struggles.

Practicing a life of being, not doing

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